I really dislike that hormone/pheromone combination

[ridicully]

This is an entry about the Stupid Crush. Woe is me. This means there's nothing but self-indulgent whining ahead.
Don't click on the cut and then say I didn't warn you.

I might have mentioned (once or twice occasionally more or less every entry for the last months) that I have a crush on a colleague.
The reason I mention it so often is mainly because it's *the* source of annoyance in my life at the moment. I'm sure my body decided that now that I don't have exams to bitch about any more, I need another source of stress that I have no way of influencing.

Thanks a lot body.

It annoys me so much, because I'm neither fifteen, nor twenty-three any more, which I feel are the appropriate ages for silly crushes. I *know* that there is no age limit on this silliness, I just feel there should be in this instance.

Things that also annoy me, in no specific order:

• Just seeing him shouldn't make my day brighter. I'm not used to just laying eyes on someone and this being instantly the highlight of my day, and I resent it. I've never defined my happiness by other people and I don't want to start it now.
• The constant urge to jump him, which I have to supress, because I try to follow social rules like not forcing yourself onto people just because they make you drool.
• The unreasonable bouts of ... not jealousy, because I know quite well I have no right to be jealous, but hurt at not having his attention.
• Having to debate with other other colleagues whom to couple him with.
• The knowledge that this will continue for at least a year longer if I know myself at all. Probably closer to two or three years. Kill me now, please. Or him, that would work too.

No, I don't deal well with stuff like that, why do you ask? Hopefully, now that I've ranted about it here, I'll be able to deal with it in RL for a bit longer and keep my whining here to a minimum.

Comments

[hammond.livejournal.com]

I have a stupid work crush too *highfives* Made all the more stupid by the fact that I don't want to be thinking about this other person because I'm already in a completely happy relationship.

My usual strategy to deal with such things is to tell the person (sometimes not a fun thing to do), it gets the crush out of the way and things tend to return to normal. I think it's because when you tell someone you have a crush on them either they reciprocate, or they let you down which sort of deflates the stupid elation you get from seeing them.

[ridicully]

*highfives back*
Amazing how such a silly thing can make life harder than it has to be, isn't it? Good luck for you in dealing with it.

And I like your tactic of dealing with such things. But I think even if I weren't to much of an emotional fuck-up to actually tell him, I wouldn't in this case, because his ego is already the size of a small nation and I wouldn't want to inflate it any further - which I believe being told he's the object of a crush would certainly do *g*

[arthenadent.livejournal.com]

I must have missed something. What's keeping you from pursuing a relationship with him?

[ridicully]

Apart from the fact that he's still in love with his ex, even if he weren't I wouldn't be his type and I'm pretty sure I'm one of the guys in his mind? The fact that I'm too much of an emotional fuck-up to approach people in whom I have any emotional investment. I'm ... special like that. *g*

[synergybc.livejournal.com]

So is he with someone or some other completely legitimate reason why you can't act on the crush?

[ridicully]

He's still in love with his ex and additionally just plain not interested in me. I pick my choices with the people I crush on *g*

[synergybc.livejournal.com]

Gah! That sucks. Sorry for your loss.

[ridicully]

It really does suck. Thanks for the sympathy :)

[here-be-dragons.livejournal.com]

Does he know you have a crush? If not, maybe he should?

[ridicully]

I hope like hell he doesn't know! If he knew, it would only inflate his ego - which certainly doesn't need it *g*
But, being serious for a moment, he's still in love with his ex and also just not interested in me. Telling him would only make things more awkward.
I obviously believe that crushing on available people would be too easy *g*